If you’re going to go to Hell for cranking your own yank, then you might as well go in the middle of a kick-ass orgasm, am I right? With so many handheld meat beaters on the market, it’s not very difficult to find a sex toy that will get you there, but anyone who knows anything about this shit knows that not all toys are the same. Some are better than others, and a few make the competition look like bitches. Enter: the TENGA Flip Zero EV – a modern marvel of masturbatory mastery. I’m not even kidding.
Mind you, my dick has felt the juicing power of just about everything out there, so when I say that the Flip Zero is a hero, I’m not blowing smoke up your ass. If that’s what you’re looking for, check out a prostate massager because it’s a No Bullshit Zone up in here. I like to lovingly call this thing the iPhone of sex toys, and I’m about to clue you in as to why it’s been given such a nifty nickname.
TENGA FLIP 0 EV PROMOTIONAL VIDEO
Before I go there, however, I want to let you know that I personally own a couple TENGA toys, including a few of the old Flip models. Those pieces of shit don’t even compare. Having admittedly spent thousands of my hard-earned dollars on the world’s most popular fuck sticks, I had no qualms with spending another couple hundred to get the best and brightest among them. The TENGA brand has consistently put out dozens of excellent toys, but this new bastard takes the cake and eats it too.
Is it possible to be legitimately in love with an inanimate object? If my partner bitches at me one more time, we’re breaking up and I’m saying vows to the Flip Zero EV. This new-fangled debauchery machine beats the Cobra Libre, the Hot Octopuss, and even the Fleshlight Vibro by 286 miles. Dare I say the EV is hands-down the best vibrating male sex toy on the market today? I just did. Take it like a man.
What Is the TENGA Flip Zero EV?
If you’re into high-tech sex toys, then this boisterous bastard might be exactly what you’ve been looking for. If you’re more of a classic man, then you’re also in luck. The Flip Zero EV by TENGA is a one-size-fits-all male masturbator with plenty of juice to please the techies while also having enough traditional taste to suit the old-school fans. It’s almost as though the sex toy gods got together one day and developed a device to cure all ills. At least, that was my first impression.
This thing makes the other toys from the TENGA brand seem like wasteful pieces of expensive garbage, and it’s uncertain how the brand will ever improve upon it in the future. I’m not saying there aren’t any flaws, it’s just that the flaws which do exist are so minor that anyone complaining needs to shut the fuck up. This is what we’ve been waiting for, boys. It’s time to whip out your wallets and put your money where your dick is.
The TENGA Flip Zero EV is a revolutionary male masturbator that features more bells and whistles than you can shake a stick at. The developers obviously brought their A-game on this one, designing a top-notch sex toy with a texture good enough to milk a horse and a set of vibe functions damn near powerful enough to fix erectile dysfunction. Allow me to break it down for you:
The Main Features Of the Tenga Flip o EV (Electronic Vibration)
It’s clear that the TENGA brand has evolved quite a bit since they first introduced the vibe-free Flip series nearly a decade ago. This new EV model, which stands for “electronic vibrations,” has a variety of updated features, including a set to twin pulsating cores that are housed snugly inside the improved elastomer. Best yet, the cores are in different spots within the toy, making it possible for you to feel the sensations throughout your entire shaft.
The Central vibe core tickles the tip of your family jewels as you thrust in and out, while the Deep vibe core shoots tingles to the very center of your junk throughout the entire session. There are five separate settings/intensities as well: low, high, pulse, swap, and random (for the adventurous among us). However, because of the improved material and dual pressure pads along the sides that allow you to customize the tightness of the toy, the Zero EV can be used with or without vibrations and it still feels like a million bucks.
Like its predecessors, the Flip Zero EV also opens to clamp tightly around your dick – a TENGA design concept that I’m a huge fan of. Did I mention that it has customizable, hand-operated suction control? I didn’t, did I? Well, I just did. Plus, the whole vibe shebang is powered by a single button on the top of the device, making it easy to control with one hand. Just cycle through the various vibe functions to find the one you like, and voila. The toy is fully rechargeable too, featuring a sturdy USB charging stand that doubles as a cleaning and drying station. It is truly a revolution in engineering, with all the necessary details to suffice hours of satisfying self-sex.
What Comes in the Tenga Flip Hole Zero EV Box?
This time around, the manufacturer took into consideration that most men need to hide their sex toys like they hide their emotions – locked deep inside a secure box, buried deep down in a dark closet. Flip up the top and here’s what you’ll find inside:
- The TENGA Flip Zero EV (of course)
- An instruction manual
- 2 packets of “HOLE” lotion (the brand’s patented lube)
- A charging base with USB connectivity
- A USB cable
Not only is the toy itself more functional, but the box it comes in is as well, serving as a self-contained storage facility for all your dirty little secrets. It’s also swanky looking – shaped like a bell jar – and sturdy enough so you don’t have to worry about it getting crushed under a pile of laundry and unused bowling balls. Have the folks at TENGA thought of everything, or what?
How It Feels
Considering the many features of this bad boy, it’s no wonder why it feels like you’re fucking yourself with a wad of cash. And I’m not talking about papercuts here, boys. I mean that the toy feels expensive – soft, solid and luxurious, not to mention ergonomic and textured perfectly. Once you activate the hand-powered suction function along the sides, it’s lights out. With a sensation not unlike a deep blowjob from a well-trained whore, beware of dehydrating your balls. I like to compare it to a good cup of coffee: good to the last drop.
The sensations are so intense that the TENGA Flip Zero EV could even be used as a stamina training unit. I won’t lie and tell you that you’ll get hours of pleasure from this thing. It’s more likely that you’ll finish in a few minutes and need a come-down cigarette before trying it again. I suggest starting slowly – perhaps without the vibe function – or else, you may end up embarrassing yourself (unless you’re alone, then who gives a shit?).
Since I’ve crammed by cock into just about everything on the market, including the world’s most popular toys, it’s only right that I compare the TENGA Flip Zero EV to the top dogs. At first, I was a little turned off by the price tag on this bad boy, but I got over that with a quickness. It’s either I make an investment once or buy shitty toys a hundred times. Which one sounds like a better plan to you?
The TENGA FLIP ZERO EV vs. The FLESHLIGHT VIBRO
Now, I do remember saying that the TENGA ZERO EV is better than the famous Fleshlight Vibro, and I stand by my statement. It’s not every day that the world gets introduced to something that blows Fleshlight out of the water, so behold history in the making, folks.
While the Fleshlight brand is known for its “life-like” SuperSkin material, I, for one, think that shit is a little on the sticky side (not to mention it’s not as realistic as advertised). The EV material, however, is super soft and supple, even without a glob of lubrication. Furthermore, the Vibro features several “finger-like” nodules inside its canal that are designed to tickle the dick, but they’re much stiffer and less pliable than the Flip EV version.
Moreover, the vibes produced by the EV are far more intense and all-encompassing when, especially when compared to the Vibro. This is most likely due to a major difference in design concepts. While the Vibro requires a variety of bullets to vibrate, the EV has dual core vibe motors placed deep within the toy itself. You can almost feel the difference just talking about it.
The Vibro isn’t as easy to clean as the Zero EV either, which simply opens wide to be dumped out and washed off with warm water. The snap-close design on the TENGA is more hygienic as well, ensuring dust and debris stays away from the good stuff between uses. Uh oh, Fleshlight, it looks like you’ve got some explaining to do.
The TENGA FLIP ZERO EV vs. The OLDER TENGA FLIP HOLE MODELS
This brag-worthy bastard is more impressive than its own relatives, so no hard feelings, Fleshlight. Compared to the old-school TENGA Flip models, the new Zero EV is better all-around. The design is more streamlined, the texture is upgraded, and the suction control is seriously improved. Even the packaging game is updated, giving this toy the high-end appearance that it so rightfully deserves. Unlike the original version, unboxing the EV is like opening a gift at Christmas.
The texture inside the toy is also enhanced, with a consistency that’s far more realistic than anything on the market. And with not one but TWO vibrating cores, it’s difficult to find a toy that can even compare (even within the same brand’s lineup). Featuring sexy folds, flaps, and fingers, you don’t even have to use the vibe functions to get a full-body orgasm. But, if you do, be sure to charge it for about 60-90 minutes before getting started for best results. And although the older models don’t need electricity to get you off, their functionality and fuckworthiness pale in comparison to the EV which is, surprisingly, still just as waterproof as its ancestors.
As with the OG TENGA Flip models, the EV operates the same way (minus the vibe control button on the top the device). Simply detach the slide arms to reveal the tantalizing texture inside and get the pants party started. Closing it around your cock is still super easy too, where the squishy marshmallow-like canal of the EV envelopes every square inch of your boy toy (given its size doesn’t exceed an average ½ inch in diameter or 6 inches in length).
The Cheers and Jeers
No sex toy is perfect, but the TENGA Flip Zero EV is about as close as it gets. So, don’t let my minor complaints sway your opinion. Those flaws are relatively standard in this industry, have little to do with the toy’s effectiveness, and are mainly a matter of vanity.
- To Vibe or Not to Vibe – This all-inclusive toy feels amazing with the dual core vibe motors running but take my word for it, the EV is just as fuckable without it.
- Easy as Pie – This bitch is about as easy to use as it gets.
- Clean Up Your Act – It’s probably the simplest toy to clean on the market as well, and best of all it doesn’t require any special cleaning powders or solutions like some of the other shit out there.
- Dirty Deeds – The Zero EV is super compact, especially when the device is closed, making it easier than ever to hide your filth from the world.
- Water World – Use it in the bath or shower all you want. The vibrating motors are encased inside the toy, which means water won’t fuck with it. (NOTE: The charging stand isn’t waterproof though, dipshits.)
- Instant Replay – The motor is fully rechargeable, meaning you can abuse the EV repeatedly without buying extra batteries.
- Strip Tease – There is a long magnetic strip that runs along the entire outside of the flip-top arm, allowing you to charge the EV even while it dries on the charging stand.
- Swift and Sexy – The battery lasts for about 45 minutes when fully charged, but I guarantee you won’t need that much time to reach critical mass.
- Tighten Up – The double pressure pads create a customizable experience that the Vibro, Hot Octopuss, Cobra Libre can’t touch.
- The Sounds of Sex – You might notice while using the Flip Zero EV that it produces a bit of a slurping sound, especially when you utilize the pressure pads, but it’s more hilarious than it is embarrassing. Besides, anyone within earshot is probably just as perverted as you are.
- Patience Is a Virtue – It takes the battery around 90 minutes to fully charge, so be patient. Remember: good things come to those who wait.
- Don’t Be So Sensitive – Some of the dudes who have used the TENGA EV think it’s too intense, but I think those guys are just pansies. Yes, it can produce a severe orgasm quickly, but if that’s a problem then just use some numbing cream and get back in the game. Seriously, who the hell is complaining about a sex toy feeling TOO good? What the fuck, fellas?
- Large and (Not) In Charge – Since the size of the EV caps out at 6 inches long and 1/2-inch in diameter, it’s not ideal for men with super large penises. Sorry guys, you’ve already been dealt the upper hand anyway. Still, with the extreme popularity of this bad boy, I can see an XL EV being developed soon.
WHERE TO BUY TENGA FLIP HOLE ZERO EV ONLINE:
LOVEHONEY.COM (BEST PRICE AND FASTEST DELIVERY)
Also check out the Tenga Flip Zero (Non vibrating version, but twice as cheap)
CLICK THE BUTTON TO REVEAL A SPECIAL 15% TENGA ZERO VIBRATING MASTURBATOR DISCOUNT CODE:
The Dirty Dozen: Useful Usage Tips For Tenga Flip Zero Electronic Vibration
Although the new TENGA Flip Zero EV is designed to be uber-easy to use, it still requires a little finesse to ensure you’re getting the best experience possible. And while you may feel like you’re a pro when it comes to using high-end hand-held masturbators, a bit of education never hurt anybody. After all, if you’re going to spring for a luxury sex toy like this one, doesn’t it make sense to maintain the thing to the best of your ability?
Aside from the ball-busting basics that every perv in the world knows, try these tips on for size:
- Some dudes will need to take it easy with this intense orgasm-giving machine, but for those of you who land on the other side of things, why not alternate the vibe functions during your sex session? It’s time to beat your meat like it owes you money.
- On the contrary, bring things down a notch and/or increase your play time by masturbating with the EV without turning on the vibrations. Trust me, it will still feel as amazing as I described it (albeit not as intense).
- Even if you think you don’t need it, be sure to use a good water-based lubricant with the TENGA Flip Zero EV. You’ll notice that the toy comes with its own sample packets of the stuff, so there are no excuses. Unless, of course, you’re like me and have your own favorite brand.
- Although the canal’s texture is super soft and supple, avoiding lubrication can still make you chaff badly or worse, it can damage the integrity of the toy.
- Let the device lay securely on the charging dock/drying stand combo when you’re not using it to prevent unnecessary damage.
- Keep the shit on the charger when it’s not juicing your balls and you’ll never have to wait for it to power up when it’s time to play.
- Make sure the lid is snapped on completely. That thing stays put when it’s attached properly, and it helps keep the dust and debris off your debauchery device.
- Utilize the charging magnets that run along the side of the arm, but make sure you keep them away from other magnets or metals. They’ll continue to work as intended if you heed my advice.
- When cleaning your EV, pay special attention to the little nooks and crannies of the inner lining. Make sure you get all the jizz out, guys, or you’ll be sorry when a rash develops.
- To clean the outside of the device (if needed), simply use a dry or slightly damp cloth made of soft cotton and gently wipe it down. No scrubs!
- Remember that the device’s elastomer is porous, so make sure it gets dried thoroughly after each cleaning or the toy could suffer damage, or the texture could deteriorate.
- To prevent irreparable damage to your new baby, just make sure you put the shit back in its handy-dandy storage box when you’re done using it. Especially if you plan to travel with the EV, storing it properly can make all the difference.
You may very well discover a few other useful usage tips as you become acquainted with the TENGA Flip Zero EV, but this dirty dozen will certainly get you started off on the right foot.
The Final Verdict
I’d like to say that you need to experience the newest toy from TENGA for yourself to understand what I’m talking about in this review, but I’d be willing to bet that most of you guys don’t have the balls to go for it without an orgasmic guarantee. I can’t give you that, but I can give you this: I more than highly recommend it, especially for the guys out there who are either A) sick and tired of run-of-the-mill sex toys or B) looking for an amalgamation of fantastically fuckable features in a single product.
Overall, the TENGA brand has been making impressive masturbators since their inception, but they’ve yet to introduce anything like the new Zero EV. With so many noticeable improvements, I’m not convinced it could get any better. If you’re like me, then you’ve been searching out a luxury sex toy from a well-known brand, and you’ve needed that toy to combine all the bells and whistles you love from the otherwise useless collection of products currently catching dust in your closet.
Regardless of some people’s apprehension about how much the EV costs (which isn’t that much if you really think about it), I think this device is a sound investment for dudes who appreciate a decent orgasm. As a nut-busting connoisseur of sorts, I am one of them. This thing features a supremely improved design, a more streamlined operating system, better ergonomics, and an upgraded texture. The addition of 5 separate dual core vibe functions is just the cherry on top.
Compared to the best sex toys the industry has to offer, the EV undoubtedly makes them all its bitch. Personally, I think this new EV model from TENGA is about to catapult the brand into a whole new league. For those who believe this toy is too intense, I ask: How is that a bad thing? Isn’t the point of masturbation to get the best orgasm possible? It’s like winning the lottery and then complaining that you have too much money. It makes no sense to me whatsoever. You can buy Tenga Flip 0 EV (use the discount code above) or get even more information at the official lovehoney.com website.
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